Technical Teens

Originally posted 2008-11-11 12:33:17

My oldest child turned 15 yesterday. We had planned a family party for him–eat barbecue, open presents, eat cake–but we ended up canceling after he cussed me out at church the day before. He doesn’t live at home, and we decided he’d rather not spend his birthday with his parents. You see, this child has bipolar disorder, oppositional defiance disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder. I could tell you stories. Parents of children with mental illnesses would nod their heads knowingly, and the rest of you would stare in horror and disbelief. If you’re interested in what life is like for parents raising a bipolar child, you can read my wife’s blog at http://parentingyoyos.blogspot.com.

Sidebar: My wife came up with the name \”Parenting Yo-yos.\” I find it clever, as it uses \”yo-yos\” both as a verb (parenting goes up and down) and as a noun (these children we parent are a bunch of yo-yos).

Raising a teenager accustoms parents to multiple displays of anger, resentment, and disrespect: doors slammed, eyes rolled, curses muttered. Raising a bipolar child widens the scope of the hatred-filled displays: stools thrown, doors destroyed, police defied. In all these actions, teenagers signal to their parents that they are independent, that they resent parental influence, that they no longer like their parents. Our son showed us yesterday, though, that teens in today’s technical age have a new way to tell their parents they hate them.

He deleted us both from his Facebook friends list.